If you live in England, Scotland or Wales you can access urgent help for mental health by calling NHS
On this page you will find information about:
- Guidance for those who are bereaved.
- Advice on dealing and living with grief.
- Practical help and support.
Losing a loved one can be a very difficult and confusing time which can often have a long-lasting impact on our health and wellbeing.
We are all likely to experience the loss of a friend or loved one at some point in our lives. Remember that you are not alone and there is support available to you throughout this time.
The Royal British Legion is here to help in any way we can and have provided some guidance to help you deal with the practical impact of losing someone.
Practical guidance following the death of a loved one
Practical guidance for when someone dies
When someone passes away it can be very hard to know what to do next. There is guidance available to help you through this period and manage the practical processes that follow the death of a loved one.
Find out what to do when a service person or veteran dies on the GOV.UK website.
Read guidance on what to do when someone dies on the Hospice UK website.
In the event of someone’s death, there are certain official things that you will need to do and organisations which will need to be notified. Find out what to do when someone dies if you live in:
Tell Us Once
The Tell Us Once service can be used to report a death to most government organisations in one go.
Practical guidance for when someone dies overseas
If you or your loved one is overseas when they pass, the steps that you will need to take will be slightly different and will be dependent on where they have died. Additionally, there will be extra processes you will have to consider, including repatriation.
Read guidance on repatriation – bringing a body back to the UK – for veterans and currently serving personnel on the RBL website.
Practical guidance for when a service person dies
If the person who has died is currently serving in HM Armed Forces, your situation will be different to if they were a civilian.
The UK government has published guidance for families to help them know what they need to do when a service person
dies.
Read guidance on what to do when a service person dies on GOV.UK.
Support from the Joint Casualty Compassionate Centre (JCCC)
The JCCC manage the relationship and bereavement support between the MOD and families of service personnel. They will supply you with a copy of The Purple Pack and arrange a Visiting Officer who can support you through this time.
Find out more about the JCCC on the GOV.UK website.
Your Visiting Officer will be able to provide you with support and help you complete the required forms. You can find more information about Visiting Officers, processes and the support that is available to you in The Purple Pack.
Read The Purple Pack on the GOV.UK website.
The Purple Pack contains important and useful information to help you and your family during the bereavement period and onwards. The Purple Pack contains information on:
- Support available to you.
- Registering the death.
- Housing and Accommodation.
- Money matters.
- Notifying others.
- Arranging a military or private funeral service.
- Entitlement and benefits.
- Education of service children and young adults.
- Frequently asked questions.
Arranging the funeral service
If the deceased died as a serving member of HM Armed Forces, the MOD will pay for a military funeral, regardless of whether you would like a private or public service.
The following information is listed by the JCCC on GOV.UK:
- Serving military personnel are entitled to a service funded or private funeral.
- A £1,000 funeral expenses grant will be given to the next of kin, or executor.
- Private funerals are paid for by the family but an additional grant of up to £4,314 is reimbursed to the next of kin, or executor, on production of a receipted funeral bill.
- For service funded funerals, the majority of the undertaker’s bill is settled by the unit.
Find out more about the JCCC, funerals, and graves on GOV.UK.
Your Visiting Officer will be able to advise on options and can help you throughout this process.
Read The Purple Pack on GOV.UK for more information on arranging a funeral service.
More support for the Armed Forces Community
Additionally, Army Families Federation has a list of frequently asked questions which may be able to help you find the answers you need at this time.
Hospices, palliative and end of life care - guidance from Hospice UK
Hospice care is provided free of charge to patients, their carers and family members by the charity, Hospice UK. The service and support they offer aims to improve the quality of life and wellbeing of adults, children and young people who have a terminal
illness or a long-term condition that cannot be cured.
Hospice care can be provided at any stage of a person’s condition, not just at the end of their lives.
Learn more about Hospice Care and how to access the support services offered by Hospice UK.
Finding hospice care
If you or someone in your life are in need of support from Hospice UK, you can find local help through their care finder.
Find Hospice care on the Hospice UK website.
Additionally, Hospice UK has guidance on their website to support you and your loved ones during this time:
Living with grief
Every single person who goes through grief will experience it in their own way. There are many different types of grief, they are all natural and can last for a long time.
The Age UK website gives detailed explanations of the different types
of grief including the physical effects and guidance on how to cope with your feelings.
Learn more about grief and how to live with the loss of a loved one on the Age UK website.
Information about Prolonged grief disorder / complicated grief
Prolonged grief disorder, also known as complicated grief is when the intense symptoms of grief last for many months or years.
The symptoms of prolonged grief disorder include:
- very difficult feelings such as sadness
- or guilt for over six months
- spending a lot of time thinking about the person who's died
- difficulty accepting the death
- not being able to return to everyday activities, and
- suicidal thoughts.
The NHS website recommends seeing a GP if you have symptoms of prolonged grief disorder.
- Read guidance on how to register with an NHS GP or Dentist here on the RBL website.
- Find an NHS service near you if you live in England or Wales on the NHS website.
- Find an NHS Service near you if you live in Scotland on the Scottish NHS website.
- Find health services if you live in Northern Ireland from the nidirect website.
- Learn more about complicated grief on the Cruse Bereavement Support charity website.
Wellbeing Support for those who are bereaved
You are not alone and there are many people, organisations and charities that here to support bereaved families, children and spouses.
-
Read mental wellbeing guidance and support here on the RBL Knowledge Base website.
-
Find out how to register with a civilian GP here the RBL website.
Support for the Armed Forces community
Grief Support from Combat Stress
Combat Stress is a veterans mental health charity, that is here to provide support. They have a direct insight into how grief affects the Armed Forces community, particularly after the loss of a colleague or work friend.
Read Combat Stress' online self-help guide on grief.
They also provide treatment and peer support schemes, delivering them both in-person, and over the phone or online.
Get in touch
Contact Combat Stress to find out more about their Peer Support Service and how to access it.
Lifelong support for bereaved veterans and service families from the Veterans Welfare Service (VWS)
If the deceased died in service, the Visiting Officer will hand over to a Welfare Manager from the Veterans Welfare Service (VWS) who can provide you with continued support. The VWS offer lifelong support to bereaved service families. If the Welfare Manager cannot help on a particular matter, they will signpost you to the most appropriate support available.
Get in touch
Support groups for bereaved Armed Forces families - SSAFA
The military charity SSAFA has created three support groups to help those who are bereaved meet others who are also grieving. The groups give individuals the opportunity to talk to people who have similar experiences and share how they are feeling with
an understanding group.
The three support groups are:
- Bereaved Support Group – for anyone over 18 who has suffered a bereavement of a veteran or Serving Armed Forces Personnel.
- Military Families Affected by Suicide – for anyone over 18 who has been affected by the loss of a loved one through.
- Families of Wounded Injured and Sick Personnel - for a spouse/partner/parent or carer (18+) of Armed Forces personnel who have been wounded or suffered an injury, or sickness.
Learn more about the SSAFA support groups and how to join one on their website.
Support for bereaved military children and young people - Scotty's Little Soldiers
Scotty’s Little Soldiers supports military children and young people (up to the age of 25) who have experienced the death of a parent.
The charity provides support, guidance and community for the bereaved children, young people, and adults
caring for them.
Finding local support
In addition to charities above that may be able to help you, there may be other ways of finding local support. These include:
- Speaking to your GP.
- Look into options for bereavement therapy or counselling.
- See if there's support available through your employer or place of study, if you're working or studying.
- Visit your local community centre or library. They may be able to help you find information about local bereavement support.
- Seek support through your place of worship, if you have one.
Read other suggestions of how to find support for bereavement on the MIND charity website.
Support from civilian organisations and charities
Support from your local council
Local councils provide support for those experiencing bereavement, but the services available can vary between each council.
Find out more about bereavement support available to you if you live in:
Supporting someone who is bereaved
If you want to help support someone who is bereaved the charity Sue Ryder has a range of guidance to help you. Although everyone's grief is different, the guides provide emotional and practical advice on how to support someone through their experience
else who is grieving.
Find out more on the Sue Ryder website about:
- What to say to someone who is grieving.
- The support bereaved people say is most helpful.
- What to write in a bereavement card.
- How can you support someone who is grieving.
- Supporting children and young people.
- Employers supporting staff through bereavement.
- Supporting your loved one through grief at Christmas.
Support for children young people, parents and families - Child Bereavement UK
Child Bereavement UK helps children, young people, parents, and families rebuild their lives when a child is bereaved or when a child dies.
Find out how Child Bereavement UK could support you on their website.
Support for bereaved family members - The Compassionate Friends
The charity The Compassionate Friends (TCF) is dedicated to the support and care of family members who have suffered the death of a child or children from a month old and from any cause.
The term ‘family’ covers a broad spectrum
of relationships for TCF which includes:
- parents
- siblings
- grandparents
- unmarried partners
- adoptive parents
- step-families
- same sex couples, and
- single parent families.
Access support if you are a bereaved parent on The Compassionate Friends website.
Find support as a bereaved sibling on The Compassionate Friends website.
Get in touch
Contact TCF using their online form, or
Telephone: 03451 232 304
Email: [email protected]
Lines are open from 10am to 4pm and 7pm to 10pm every day of the year.
Cruse Bereavement Support
Cruse Bereavement Care is a charity that is here to provide support to people going through the loss of a loved one whether its face-to-face, by telephone, email or on through guides on their website.
Get in touch
Visit Cruse's website to learn more about the support they can provide you with, or
Telephone: 08088 081 677
Email: [email protected]
Support for those who have been affected by pregnancy loss and the death of a baby - Stillbirth & Neonatal Death Charity (Sands)
Sands will help anyone affected by pregnancy loss or the death of a baby. The charity provides emotional support and information on their website, including:
Get in touch
The Sands National Helpline is a safe, confidential place for anyone who has been affected by pregnancy loss or the death of a baby, whether recently or a long time ago. Contact the Sands helpline via:
Telephone: 08081 643 332
Email: [email protected]
The team are available 10am to 3pm Monday to Friday and 6pm to 9pm Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday evenings.
Find out more about the service offered and confidentiality on the Sands website.
Grief support from the charity Sue Ryder
Sue Ryder provide end-of-life care and support to those who are living with grief.
Find more information and advice to help you cope with grief from Sue Ryder on their website:
Widowed and Young (WAY)
Widowed and Young (WAY) is a UK charity that offers a support network to anyone who has lost a partner before their 51st birthday - married or not, with or without children, inclusive of sexual orientation, gender, race and religion.
Get in touch
Use the WAY online contact form, or
Telephone: 03002 010 051
Office hours are Monday to Friday 9:30am to 5pm.
Managing your circumstances
As someone who is bereaved there may be certain practical circumstances that you will need to consider, such as arranging a funeral. The guidance below has been created to help you manage these circumstances during this time.
Read financial and practical guidance for those who are bereaved here on the RBL website.
Stopping unwanted mail
It can be distressing to receive post in the name of someone who has died. Below are some links to organisations that can help stop unwanted mail being sent to someone who has died:
Informing the Royal British Legion of a recent bereavement
If you think that a loved one may have been a member or supporter of RBL, please let us know so that we don’t mail them in the future. Please note that it may take up to 28 days for us to remove their name from any mailings.
You can let us know by calling our Supporter Care team on 0345 845 1945 or by emailing [email protected].
Stopping post from known organisations
To stop mail from known organisations, it’s best to make direct contact with them by post, email or telephone. Let them know the person’s full name and address, advise them of the death, and ask them to remove them from their mailing lists.
Independent Inquest Advice (IIA)
If you've been bereaved as a result of Service, the inquiry and inquest (or fatal accident inquiry in Scotland) can be a daunting prospect. We can support you through the complicated process of an inquiry and inquest after a bereavement in what is already a difficult and painful time.
To find out more about the support the RBL could offer you, contact us via
Telephone: 0808 802 8080
Telephone overseas: +44 (0)20 3376 8080
Calls are free
from UK landlines and main mobile networks
Email: [email protected]
.jpg?sfvrsn=3ed834c0_2&method=CropCropArguments&width=452&height=452&Signature=C7466F06BBE7B14CDCBF5E07F083E56F3F36A285 "37793 RT 4 (3)")
